The Call of St. Matthew (Caravaggio)

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When Jesus enters the room
My hands are still on the money
Fingers fiddling

My mind distracted by it
My soul oppressed by its demands
My heart tangled in its deception

Then glancing sideward
I see the Hand outstretched
Finger pointing like a new creation’s
Dawning light

And when He speaks
It is clear that I cannot
Serve both God and money
It is He that I must follow

However harrowed be my life

I grow younger as I near Him
A beauty ever ancient
Emerges ever new

Sitting with Him at table
We sinners are drawn in
To an intimacy Most Divine

Mercy

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30 Days

Carmel: Most Beautiful of Women

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It was a warm blustery  Sunday evening o n Hastings pier... Waiting for news of Carmel Waiting for Carmel to leave Not that I wanted her to go I would like her to stay on and on We all would But she had to go It was her time Her time was coming And God was calling And I was five hundred miles Away She is my aunt -in-law But really my aunt In affection Sixty odd years  of it When I was a boy of eight or so She came to Raford from Birmingham Young wife and mother Josie's wife Marian's mother Josie was my uncle Raford is the Carty homestead It became Carmel's home Over the past 36 years It has been hers Since Josie died She came to embody Raford She became Raford For me For my family To the eight-year-old boy She was bright, beautiful and warm Very caring We were down by the big metal gate Closing it And my heel got caught in it I cried more loudly than was necessary And Carmel brought me in, took off my white ankle socks, bathed and bandag
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THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY: In Loving memory of Father John O’Brien SCA

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  Meditation in the Sahara Desert Through a glass darkly. A phrase from 1 Corinthians 13 which was the last piece of Scripture I read to John the day before he died. The same phrase came to me separately and independently from Derry and Tom yesterday so it seems an appropriate place from which to start. In his unconsciousness John’s eyes remained open and, though he could not see us or anything around him in this world, it seemed to me that he was gazing into the Beyond, perceiving dim reflections of the reality towards which he was travelling, the God whom he loved all his life, the God by whom he was touched. "He touched me" was a phrase he liked to use. The Father was uncovering His face to His child and like a new-born baby learning to see, John sometimes looked a bit puzzled as if he was trying to work something out, trying to understand. But the end of that gazing is this, “…we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been
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TO WALK WITH YOU

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Lord, it is easier for me to walk with You rather than to sit in front of You to leave rather than to remain to be nomadic rather than sedentary to avoid Your gaze rather than to face it to wear a mask rather than cast it aside I am not the one whom people imagine me to be. There is a me that no-one ever sees No-one but You and my fear is that You do not like what You see But that is not true Because you love even what seems to be unlovable drawing order out of chaos light out of darkness for You see the struggle of it and the hope contained in it for You are at home here whether I sit or whether I walk whether I stand or whether I lay down whether I remain or whether I leave You are my hope You are my home You are everything You are in everything
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USEJA (Thus Spoke the Silence)

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You will not hold You will not be held But briefly Thus spoke the Silence To the emptiness Not for you Such tender comfort Yours the desert thirst That will not be quenched The hunger that will not be satisfied The yearning unfulfilled Until you understand The meaning of all desire Separation being the path to Reparation being the door to Restoration of the soul to Paradise once more
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SAOIRSE NA FARRAIGE (Freedom)

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  Walking across the beaches Of my childhood Beauty bathing beneath Surprising sunshine Serendipitious solitude A day with no plan in it Upon these rocks is written Dreams with the power of God In them, His Holy Desire Longings heard Prayers answered And I see now As if for the first time Feel afresh the Fulness Freedom of the Sea Freedom of the Holy Spirit Windblown As it was back then As it is right now As it will be in another time Amen
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THE LILAC TREE: Connection and Communication

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  In the back garden of my home in Mervue there’s a lilac tree that was planted by my Mother and it was once tall and beautiful when in full bloom. The winter after she died a storm uprooted and knocked the tree flat on the ground and we were all very sorry for it because it represented her. The tree lay there through the winter and into the spring. I left it like that because I felt it had something to say to me about what is fallen in life, even though people were urging me to get rid of it and then to my great surprise, the following May new lilac blossoms emerged from the fallen tree and when I went to look at the roots I noticed that one single slim root was still connected to the earth and by it the tree lives on. So, it rests there as a parable for me of the hope that abides in the fallen states of life, in times when things fall apart and out of place. A reminder of the line from the Book of Job,  " there is hope for a tree: If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and
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By Pelham Beach: I Think As I Pray

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A beautiful Friday afternoon. Walking the sea front by Pelham Beach in the direction of the Bathing Hut Café which never seems to be open and is exactly three miles from my door. It’s a walk I do every other day, mostly in the evening. Six miles in total and it’s really good for my head. I pray as I go and think as I pray and often just let my eyes and my mind float, taking in what’s there. The beauty of everything. Every one. September 28 th . I remember it’s exactly a year ago since I was inducted as Parish Priest of St. Mary Star of the Sea. 28 is a significant number – January and July. I was 28 years old the last time I became a Parish Priest in Galapo, Tanzania. I don’t know how to assess the last year, to know whether I’m doing well or not. There’s always a bit of a shadow lurking to suggest I will never really get it right, that I never have in fact gotten it right. The shadow suggests that my mistakes - past and present - are bigger than they actually are. The
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FOLLOW, LEARN, BECOME

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  July 7 - Saba Saba in Tanzania. The Gospel for today is the call of Matthew and it comes a day after I signed up for a Divine Renovation course which is designed to kick-start priests into becoming more effective leaders in parish life, leading the parish itself to new life in the Holy Spirit. The course begins in September on the feast of St. Matthew. I told the young man who interviewed me on Zoom that I was doing it in obedience to a suggestion from a parishioner who sees that I am in need of renovation. And mutual obedience is a characteristic of the Christian life as we are told by Saint Paul - "give way to one another in obedience to Christ." Renovation is one of those odd words that are used in Church circles. Synod being another one that has no use in the language of the ordinary person. Renovation! It brings to mind a crumbling building that is in need of serious repair. But I am taking part in both the Renovation and the Synod. In the first, because I know how muc
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SIMPLICITY: Kissing The Hand of Jesus 2017 - Eamonn Monson sac

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I came across a painting by Fray Juan Bautista Maino called The Adoration of the Shepherds and a detail shows one of the shepherds (though it might be St. Joseph) lifting the right hand of the baby Jesus and kissing it. It strikes me that this is the purpose of our Advent and Christmas - to arrive at a point where Jesus is born for us again, born within us and we are called to come to Jesus and express our love for him in such a gesture. John the Baptist goes into the desert for clarity and focus. The desert is a place of simplicity where we have nothing but the essentials to deal with and focus on. With this focus on the essentials John is able to recognise Jesus when he appears. Last Christmas I celebrated Mass with a group of special needs adults from St. John Of God Carmona services, an experience which brought me face to face with the essential meaning of life in all its simplicity. When I arrived in the hall I went to greet each person - 30 or 40 in all -  an
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