My Home at the Feet of Jesus

 

Martha and Mary.

We miss the point when we get caught up in the argument of the two sisters and, most people come down on the side of Martha because she is us. We are her. We are busy. We want to be distracted.

And we ask a fair question, “what would the world be like if everyone sat down like Mary?” Nothing would get done!

But, of course, we miss the point. Martha and Mary are not the point. The point of it all is Jesus. It is He whom we serve. It is to Him that we listen.

On a personal level, this Gospel has been significant for me since the first time I read it. As a young student I “knew” that I belonged in the place that Mary occupies. I felt that keenly and lived it to a great degree as a young priest in Tanzania.

I feel it now as a call to return to the place where I truly belong. My home at the feet of Jesus, listening to Him.

The new translation of the Lectionary adds another personal dimension for me. It is the word “portion.” Mary has chosen the “good portion,” which reads a little flat compared to the “better part” of the old translation.

But the word matters to me because, before my ordination, when I asked God for a word that would define my life as a priest, I was given Psalm 16. It contains the line, “O Lord it is You who are my PORTION…”

And it seems to me now very clearly that the “good portion” is what is being offered to me, and I am called to choose that portion. It is something I cannot reject, and living it will entail some change of lifestyle that is not burdened by the distraction of administration. It is not a form of semi-retirement but a ministry costing nothing less that everything in a new kind of way.

It is very interesting that, this morning, two people in two different countries have suggested that I might have a secondary calling to the monastic contemplative life, specifically the Cistercians as suggested by one. For one thing, I am too old to become a Cistercian and secondly, my consecration is as a Pallottine. But there are possibilities for exploring secondary vocations within the Pallottine way of life and others have suggested that I connect with a Polish Pallottine who has been given permission to live as a contemplative hermit. Permission is central because we have promised ourselves to a life of obedience. There is no other path for us. And that is good. It has always worked for me.

Perhaps this needs to be at the centre of the discernment that will follow my life here at Hastings.

Thoughts of my leaving have brought up a lot of emotions in the people of the parish and a big part of me wants to save people from the pain of those emotions, so that at times I am myself distraught with the suffering this brings to others.

And so listening to the Word is very necessary. A moment of t he Word came last Saturday. I was troubled in my spirit, feeling lost and found little solace in a walk by the sea. When I got back to the house I lay on my bed for a few moments rest, after which I intended going for Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.

It was then that the Word seemed to descend upon me, enter into me, leaving me possessed by an extraordinary quite.

And God seemed to say very clearly, "I am here. Stay here on your bed." So I stayed and adored. And the spirit of quiet took hold of me again.

A couple of days later in prayer when I was thinking of someone who had died, there came to mind the prayer of Simeon, "At last all-powerful Master, you give leave to your servant to go..." I was praying that for the deceased man but then the Holy Spirit seemed to be praying it for me and the same extraordinary quiet took possession of me.