OF YOU MY HEART HAS SPOKEN

With the patient poise Of a hunched heron The old fisherman Watches the sea Swelled By tragedy and triumph Memory of the Almighty's Awesome deeds From which he has emerged Scathed Survivor of the past He looks the present In the eye Stepping delicately Towards the future Trustful With Faith in the One Who has brought him Thus far

A blessing on the man who puts his trust in the Lord, with the Lord for his hope. He is like a tree by the waterside that thrusts its roots to the stream: when the heat comes it feels no alarm, its foliage stays green; it has no worries in a year of drought, and never ceases to bear fruit. ‘The heart is more devious than any other thing, perverse too: who can pierce its secrets? I, the Lord, search to the heart, I probe the loins, To give each man what his conduct and his actions deserve.’ (Jeremiah 17:8-10) A bench beneath A cedar tree Beside a lake Of waterlilies Radiant swans Birds, dragonflies And ants that bite Something is carried On the cool breeze That blows there SOMEONE A Person Not a thing A Question That contains the Promise Of a Gift to come And I like Abraham At the hottest part of day Bow down in adoration Of the One Who asks Giver of the Gift Where is your heart? God wants to know My heart is in my loins Where it belongs That u

The day begins with a song that represents the innocence of the music of the early 1970's - I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing by the New Seekers   -  going round in my mind in a kind and lighthearted spirit which isn't a bad way to start the first day of my new life in Hastings. The reality of my move from Shankill, from Galway and out of Ireland hasn't really hit me at all because I've kept it at bay in case it might be overwhelming. It also feels temporary because I will travel back to Ireland a few times during the summer to fulfill commitments - a retreat and four weddings. The move was blessed by the prayers and Bible readings that were the set pieces of yesterday, prayers that I didn't choose but ones that hold a lot of meaning - "Alone with none but thee my God I journey on my way...May your hand be on the man you have chosen...With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation...Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom..

It grew from the earth Sprouting grass for roof Sagging soon a lump Mud hut retiring In shy apology  For the way things are Underdeveloped I hope you don’t mind

Motherhood embraced me The day I went away We sobbed together Held tight in time And loss Her womb Leaning in to me As God might In that place Where life was borne Delivered wrenched away Again again again Rachael weeping  For her children  Because they are no more  What do you call A mother whose child Had died? A short life in the womb Four hours after birth Two and four and ten years old? I have never seen Such sorrow or Such dignity Womanhood so steadfast and frail The arms that ache to hold The missing Child Encompassing me We drench each other's shoulder Tears of grief Mingled with relief For life that swells The womb once more Pressing against my body Throbbing And born A child is born Amen Again Amen!

  The Hands that ache to Reach and sooth and heal The sore These Hands are nailed Held back The feet obliged to To bear forgiveness For the hurt These feet are nailed Held back With Christ I hang Upon the Cross And we are powerless Now The only freedom lies In death descending To the depths of hell Still held With nothing To be done But wait Until the dawn Of Grace

  God is full of Love For me He cannot Love me more I cannot Be more loved You say How precious Life is That I should value Mine more Let yourself Be loved They said Stoking my guilt With good-intentioned Platitudes With no insight Into the Darkness That marks A soul for Life The Gethsemane That holds onto me Like a vocation From childhood The sudden Unbidden impulse Taking me To a place Within myself Where I hoped Not to venture Inciting me To step out in front Of the beautiful Bus speeding Down the road And end it The torment O God protect me From myself Give me perfect Self-forgetfulness The grace that keeps me Safe Holds me back From the brink I understand The one who goes Over the edge Into the abyss Jesus understands What it means To be loved in the dark To be loved and not To feel it To not feel it And still trust In it (Dublin June 5, 2017)