YOU WILL SEE YOUR TEACHER

 

“You had not yet come forth into the light,

Not even the world itself had come into existence

When already I was loving you.

Throughout my Eternal Existence I have loved you”

(Words of God spoken by Saint Alphonsus Ligouri) 

On the fourth day of my Aran retreat, before the boats had arrived from the mainland, I took the Pump Road, turning left up past the water works, a path I had never taken before. It narrows into a beautiful lane, framed by stone walls and beautifully decorated by hundreds, maybe thousands of wildflowers. 

The path led me to the cliff facing the Atlantic Ocean with the Black Fort further up to my left. This is a route I’ve wanted to take for years, and it is utterly solitary, a road not travelled before, symbolic of seeking God in places where I had not searched before. 

The search is always the same but sometimes it is necessary to get a different perspective. “It is Your Face O Lord that I seek.” (Psalm 27) 

Out there near the cliff edge where seagulls soar and even a frightened pheasant surprises – sitting there, the words of Isaiah came back to me, words that were significant on the Camino; “He who is your Teacher will hide Himself no longer.” (Isaiah 30). 

They came clear as a bell on the pristine air. They are the Words of God, and they are not mine to manipulate. They are given to be received and waited upon. Only He knows in what way He reveals Himself now. 

I’ve developed the habit of praying the Word on my rosary beads so that it becomes embedded in my mind and soul. I pray an Our Father at the beginning and on each of the Hail Mary beads I repeat the Word, “He who is your Teacher will hide Himself no longer” concluding each “decade” with Glory be. 

“Your Word was my delight and the joy of my heart.” (Jeremiah 15:16) 

And it is with joy that I walked back from the cliff. In a playful mood

I asked a question of the robin,

I asked it of the flowers,

asked it of the white goat with the long beard,

I asked it of the horse and

 asked it of the white butterfly –

“are you my Teacher?” – and, of course, they all remained silent, each one faithful to its nature. 

But this quietly faithful nature might be the prelude to revelation. 

I hadn’t eaten. It was not a deliberate fasting on my part, but the effect of the hunger had me in a kind of altered state of consciousness, in a kind of a daze. And in that state I took the road up to the church in Kilronan and there was startled by a small bird flying across my path from one wall to the other, flying with incredible speed and in a split-second flash of light I “saw” but don’t know what I saw. 

I only know that I “saw.” It's as if a gash appeared in the canvas of this world and I glimpsed so very briefly the Glory of the Lord - "...and the earth shone with His glory." (Ezekiel 43:2) 

And when I lifted my gaze, there was a large white butterfly hovering above me, and it seemed to say, “we are faithful to our nature!” So cool, so calm, so beautiful. 

And then I had this moment of knowing – that the Teacher is within myself, within my nature. As near as that. No further away than that. 

And the words of Moses came back to me “…the Word is very near to you. It is in your heart and on your lips for you to observe.” (Deuteronomy 30:14) "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you!" (Luke 17:21)

It was like learning truth as if for the first time, learning what I already know, seeing what I have already seen. Seeing anew. 

Jesus is the Teacher. Jesus is the Word written in my heart. Written even in the desires that trouble me. And, of course, in Scripture the heart, the seat of Wisdom is located in the loins. 

This flash of awareness took place near Eileen Guest’s house (now belonging to George), and it was both exciting and disappointing at the same time. Exciting because it felt so new but disappointing because I was looking for something external to me, something more interesting and exciting that me. Something more exotic than me, poor pot of clay that I am. 

But then, that is the very Word of God from Mass of the day – God is the potter, I am the clay, the work of His hands. (Jeremiah 18:1-6) 

And why not be led to this awareness by God’s most beautiful creation – the cliff, the sea, the butterflies and birds of the air, the beautiful wildflowers?

Look at the birds of the air. Consider the flowers of the field! Do not be afraid! (Luke 12:22-34) 

It is God's gift to all of us, a gift that is already within us.