OF YOU MY HEART HAS SPOKEN

If it please you Lord, Speak to my heart My pounding heart Quiet now! Be still! Speak to my mind My racing mind Quiet now! Be still! Speak to my soul My wounded soul Quiet now! Be still! Speak to my anger My furious anger Quiet now! Be still! Speak to my fear My sneaking fear Quiet now! Be still! Speak to the accusation The counter-accusation Quiet now! Be still! Speak to my home My crumbling home Quiet now! Be still! Speak to the inner eye Of my heart Quiet now! Be still! That I may see them As You see them Quiet now! Be still! Understand them As You understand them Quiet now! Be still! Forgive them As You forgive Quiet now! Be still! Love them As You Love Quiet now! Be still! Speak Lord Your servant Is listening Quiet now! Be still! Let it be done to me According to Your Word Quiet now! Be still!

Something is lost Something is missing You do not smile At the wedding You do not smile At me And I fear you might Be leaving me I am perplexed By silences That sometimes Seem kind or not My heart pounds Like a fist into The birthday cake Of old Fragments everywhere Everything in smithereens Too many Broken relationships Too much unforgiveness Too much blame Mistakes Blown out Of proportion I am Elijah Beneath the bush Of defeat And Richard Harris sings Words that put some shape On the frontier in which I am found  I don't think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I'll never have that recipe again Oh, no! Oh, no!

Litany of the canonized Litany of those he has loved And lost to Eternity Gallery of silent spectators Gathered for the fight In which he will be Victorious or Vanquished He is His own opponent His own enemy Guilt Has pursued him From the womb Persecutor Prosecutor Relentlessly Accusing It is the milk With which he was fed Blood of his veins Seeping No, pumping itself Into every fibre The very marrow No martyrdom Will be his He will not die For the faith Guilt is the martyrdom By which he lives Guilt may slay him But thanks be to God Mercy awaits Mercy The stony beach On which his life Stretches out The sky Towards which his hand Reaches up Looking beyond the blue To God The only Hope of respite Briefly now And then Eternally